Attached and exhausted...

Going into parenting can be an exciting and challenging time.  We read all the books that we thought would suit our parenting style, browsed blogs and boards for hours, and talked with friends and family about how they raised their kids and dealt with controversial situations.  We felt lead to a style called "Attachment Parenting".  It basically means having your baby with you and being in tune with their needs and wants and being instinct lead with raising them.  Co-sleeping, baby wearing (when Cody would be in the mood for a pack), and extended breastfeeding are all common associations with attachment parenting.  It sounds like the idea way to raise a child right?  That's what we thought... until we did it for a year.  It turns out it is exauhsting, marriage challening and child controlling.

Don't get me wrong, I will still continue with this style parenting when we have more babies but I think there are limits for our family and we need to make sure our family is not child centred because God comes first, then Sam and I in our relationship and then the children.  We didn't understand limits going into this and no one warned us until it started to take a toll on our family.  It seems this is a common issue, the family becomes about baby and mommy needs to put all energy into the childs life while the husband becomes less and less involved or feeling as important.

I loved/still love co-sleeping with our boy.  It was a lifesaver when he was younger and nursed all night long so I could just doze on and off and it is still wonderful to have him in our bed to cuddle all night.  What I didn't realize was how dependent he would be on needing us to sleep now that he is just about a year old.  He isn't comfortable to sleep in his crib on his own but then my husband tells me he needs my attention during the night as well so who comes first?  It's so hard!  Parenting is difficult! I think having your baby sleep with you for long periods of time is awesome as long as it doesn't take away from your marriage and for us it is starting to get to that point.

One of my biggest concerns is that our boy is not getting the best quality sleeps that he needs.  When he is in our bed he wakes up about 10 times a night but when he actually falls asleep in his crib he only wakes up once and has a solid sleep.  I think he needs his own space and not be distrubed by mommy moving around during the night.  All babies are different and we are figuring out what OUR baby needs, not anyone elses so please don't think my experience is what will happen for you. 

Attachment parenting is awesome but we also have to teach our children that they are part of the family and in that they need to respect the families need for sleep to function properly and they need to respect that they are not the centre but rather a very important slice of our family pie :) Honest thoughts?