Day 5. Experience

What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

This is going to be hard to write.  The hardest thing I have ever experienced was my parents divorce and all the years following.  My family broke up and we were lost. 

I was 12 years old and it shattered my little world.  Suddenly my dad was gone and my mom was left struggling to take care of us with not much preparation since she was a stay at home mom and devoted her life to raising her girls and running our family.  She went back to school and worked a lot while my sisters and I stayed home and looked after each other.  I resented that I needed to watch my younger sisters all the time and it brought a lot of anger towards them which I will always be sorry for since I should have been there to support and protect instead of being mad.  We were all struggling to figure out how to live in a different world but my mom was our strength and she lead us to find some happiness where ever she could.  We always thought it was so fun that we got to eat pancakes for dinner but my mom later told us that was because we couldn't afford anything else.  Every last penny was used up with nothing to spare.  We cried all the time, talked a lot and had many many "family meetings" to learn to work together. 

This isn't a sad story thought because I believe incredible things come from pain.  Us 4 girls became best friends.  We had lived the same hurt and could express our thoughts in a safe place.  My mom was so amazing through all of those years.  She worked SOOOO hard to get a degree (Dean's List, yay!) and moved us to a new city to start over.  She worked her way into a career she was so passionate about and was the best role model for her girls that any mom could be.  She is the hardest working woman that I know and we all survived some very hard years because she was there to take the lead. 

I have also learned a lot about how I want my marriage to be and how I never want my children to have to deal with separate parents. I want them to feel secure knowing that my husband and I are partners and will ALWAYS stay together, in love. In a world where divorce is no big deal, I want them to know that there is hope. I want our children to roll their eyes and laugh when Sam and I show off our super dance skills at our 50th wedding anniversary.